What is Bullying?

"This information is information has been reposted due to a very high level of IMPORTANCE."

Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere. It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not "just messing around", and it is not something to grow out of. Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

• Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
• Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
• Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take many forms. Examples include:

• Verbal: name-calling, teasing
• Social:spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships
• Physical: hitting, punching, shoving
• Cyberbullying: using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harm others

An act of bullying may fit into more than one of these groups.

(Source: www.stopbullying.gov)

In the Community

Everyone can help prevent and stop bullying. Adults have the responsibility to protect and be a role model for kids, teens, and young adults.

No matter who you are or who you represent, you can influence lives and maybe even save a life.

Everyone needs to be aware not only about the warning signs and effects of bullying, but also about the ways to intervene and support both the person being bullied and the one bullying others.

Also check out the video >>here<<

(Source: www.stopbullying.gov)

Have You Seen Bullying?

Check out a video about being bullied here!

You can help stop the bullying. Next time you see someone being bullied, try one (or more) of these ideas:

• If it is safe, speak up. Say something like, “Stop it!”
• Tell an adult. Kids who are being bullied are sometimes scared to tell an adult. That is where you come in--tell an adult who you trust, like your teacher or coach. You can tell them in person or leave them a note.
• Be a friend to the person who is being bullied. You can still help the kid who is being bullied:
  • Talk with them.
  • Sit with them at lunch.
  • Play with them at recess.
• Set a good example. Do not bully others.

In The Community

Everyone can help prevent and stop bullying. Adults have the responsibility to protect and be a role model for kids, teens, and young adults.

No matter who you are or who you represent, you can influence lives and maybe even save a life.

Everyone needs to be aware not only about the warning signs and effects of bullying, but also about the ways to intervene and support both the person being bullied and the one bullying others.

What Educators Can Do?

Bullying negatively affects the atmosphere of a school and disrupts the learning environment. Bullying is not something educators have to accept.

It takes the entire school community to create an inviting school where everyone feels they belong and are safe. Working together, administrators, teachers, school staff, parents, and students can help stop bullying in your school.

Where to Start?

Consider the following questions when putting a bullying prevention initiative in your school. Would you like help to:

• Assess a clearer picture of bullying in your school?
• Evaluate the bullying prevention initiatives you currently have in place?
• Learn how to identify and intervene in bullying incidents?
• Prevent bullying at your school?
• Check out resources you can use to make your school safer?
• Enhance classroom management skills?
• Establish a school safety committee to help you prevent bullying, including teachers, support staff, students, parents, and community members?
• Convey your expectation of respectful behavior by creating policies and guidelines such as a Mission Statement, Code of Conduct, and School Rules about Bullying?
• Establish a system to track the bullying incidents in that is currently taking place at your school?
• Effectively discipline students who bully?
• Engage parents more effectively, through bullying prevention?
• Engage parents in enhancing their children's academic performance?
• Encourage students to safely stand up for each other?
• Encourage students to report bullying when they see it?
• Hold regular classroom meetings to discuss bullying and respecting others?
• Explain the many different kinds of bullying?
• Explain examples of what students can do to make bullying stop?

By providing these resources, the Departments of Health and Human Services and Education do not imply a requirement of their use. According to research, the most successful strategies or programs are school-wide and comprehensive.

Did you know?

56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

(source: www.stopbullying.gov)

Parents

Parents can play a key role in preventing and stopping bullying. But first they have to know if their children bully or are bullied by others. Many parents do not discuss bullying with their children, and many children do not raise the topic of bullying with their parents.

Some parents of children who bully may also support such behavior without knowing it. They may use power and aggression to resolve conflicts, or they may fail to keep track of and stop bullying at home. Also, as children get older, bullying often occurs when adults are not around.

See this video at http://www.stopbullying.gov/parents/index.html

(source: http://www.stopbullying.gov)

How to Deal with Being Bullied (Teens)

If you have been bullied, it may affect you in many ways. You may not want to go to school or may find it hard to do your homework. You may be losing sleep, eating more or less than usual, having headaches or stomachaches, or getting sick more often. Know that you do not have to feel this way.

Your Feelings are Important

• Do not blame yourself. It is easy to question whether you are the problem. But no matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel.
• Be proud of who you are. No matter what they say, there are wonderful things about you. Keep those in mind instead of the disrespectful messages you get from the people who are bullying you.
• Do not be afraid to get help. Sometimes it helps to just talk to someone who is not personally involved. Teachers, counselors, and others are there to help. Seeing a counselor or other professional does not mean there is something wrong with you.

What to Do When You Are Being Bullied

The first priority is always your safety. Here are some strategies for you to consider:

• Tell them to stop.
• Walk away. Do not let them get to you. If you walk away or ignore them, they will not get that satisfaction.
• Protect yourself. Sometimes you cannot walk away. If you are being physically hurt, protect yourself so that you can get away.
• Tell an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. In some cases, adults need to get involved for the bullying to stop.
• Find a safe place. Go somewhere that you feel safe and secure like the library, a favorite teacher’s classroom, or the office.
• Stick together. Stay with a group or individuals that you trust.
• Find opportunities to make new friends. Explore your interests and join school or community activities such as sports, drama, or art. Volunteer or participate in community service.

(source: www.stopbullying.gov)

How to Deal with Being Bullied

If you have been bullied, it may affect you in many ways. Know that you don’t have to feel this way. There are resources that can help.

What to Do When You Are Being Bullied

• Tell them to stop.
• Do not blame yourself. Remember that no matter what someone says, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel.
• Be proud of who you are.
• Talk with someone you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to family members and friends you trust to discuss the problem.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help. Talking to a counselor or health professional can help you get through the emotional effects of bullying.
• Policies and laws may apply to you. Federal, state and local law may also offer you protection if the bullying has risen to a certain level. Many schools, colleges, and places of work also have policies against bullying or other related behaviors. Reach out to representatives in your community to find out more about what assistance is available to you.

(source: http://www.stopbullying.gov/)

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying, instead of happening face-to-face, happens through the use of technology such as computers, cell phones and other electronic devices. Cyberbullying peaks around the end of middle school and the beginning of high school.

Examples of cyberbullying include:

• Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others
• Spreading rumors or lies about others by e-mail or on social networks
• Creating websites, videos or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

Bullying online is very different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be:

• Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
• Shared be shared to a very wide audience
• Sent anonymously

Effects of Cyberbullying

Research on cyberbullying has found that students involved are more likely to:

• Be unwilling to attend school
• Receive poor grades
• Have lower self-esteem
• Have more health problems

Cyberbullying can have particular affects on those who are targeted. Research has found that young people who have been cyberbullied are significantly more likely to:

• Use alcohol and drugs
• Skip school
• Experience in-person bullying or victimization

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere. It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not "just messing around", and it is not something to grow out of. Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

• Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
• Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
• Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take many forms. Examples include:

• Verbal: name-calling, teasing
• Social:spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships
• Physical: hitting, punching, shoving
• Cyberbullying: using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harm others

An act of bullying may fit into more than one of these groups.

Take the Bullying Quiz

How much do you know about bullying?

Schedule for Straight Talk - Anti-Bullying Event - Thursday Evening

Schedule for the Evening

March 24^th

6:50 – 7:10 Refreshments

Visit local agency tables

PARENT PROGRAM --> In Middle School Dining Hall

7:10: Welcome & Introduction:

-Edward Hallisey, Putnam Valley Middle School Principal

7:15: Bullying 101

-Andrea Fallick, LCSW, CASAC,

Assistant Director for School Based Programs, Student Assistance Services

8:05: Panel of Experts:

-Adam Levy, Putnam County District Attorney

-Joseph DeMarzo, Putnam County Youth Bureau & Mental Health

-Aileen Napolitano, Probation Officer

-James Reitz, Putnam County Court Judge

-Deputy Richard Mansfield, Putnam Valley School Resource Officer

-Edward Hallisey, Putnam Valley Middle School Principal

-Michael Hanna, Putnam Valley Middle School Assistant Principal

Middle School Student Workshops

7:10 – 8:00 MS Student Workshop I

8:05 – 8:55 MS Student Workshop II

Select a workshop & enjoy!

(1) BFF, BFFA, BFFE - Friends Forever - What Does that Mean? Is It Possible?

Kristel Halton, LCSW, CPS Prevention Educator

Let us think outside the “BFF BOX”. What does it mean to be a good friend and how do I keep friends? Join us for a fun workshop on friendship and a chance to talk about how much friends make our life more wonderful and how sometimes it’s not easy being a good friend.

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~Author Unknown

Location: Room 210 / Target Audience: All

(2) The Good, the Bad & the Ugly of Energy Drinks

The Truth About Energy Drinks
Elaine N. Santos, MA Putnam County Communities That Care Coalition Coordinator
Do you use energy drinks to stay awake or give yourself that extra boost? Join us for a hands-on presentation about the truth, including the potential dangers of consuming energy drinks. Learn healthier ways to be on your game and stay focused!

Location: Room 211 / Target Audience: All

(3) Matters of the heart! Meghan McCarthy, MPH, Community Educator/ Volunteer Coordinator Putnam Northern Westchester Women’s Resource Center
Dating relationships will be the focus of this interactive workshop. Students will learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviors that occur in dating relationships. They will walk away from this workshop better able to identify these characteristics in their own relationships.

Location: Room 212 / Target Audience: 7^th and 8^th graders

(4) Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Body Image, Self Image, and Healthy Eating.

Laura Mazzotta, LMSW, NYS licensed social worker with a private practice in Carmel

Learn to develop your own healthy style! Differences are all around us, in hair color, skin color, height, gender, and body type. Unfortunately, a lot of the messages we receive from the media, friends, and society tell us there is one right way to look, and that the way we look defines us. This workshop will help you learn to challenge these messages, practice good nutrition, and appreciate what makes you unique, inside and out!

Location: Room 213 / Target Audience: All

(5) Project Rewind…Nurses’ Network of America

Rachelle Riguard RN, BSN, Educational Consultant

Project Rewind engages the audience with original artwork that uses unique analogies related to the effects of alcohol. The dangers of alcohol are underscored with special emphasis on identifying friends who exhibit signs of alcohol toxicity. The steps for safe intervention are discussed and “first response” measures are stressed. The Project Rewind program has been successful at engaging teens in the important and dangerous topic of alcohol abuse.

Location: Room 214 / Target Audience: All

(6) The Blooey Project: The Issues of Name Calling and Bullying
PVHS GSA/ VOICES club
(Gay Straight Alliance / Voices of Individuals Creating Environments that are Safe)
In this workshop high school students from the Putnam Valley High School GSA/ VOICES club will lead an activity that examine issues of name calling and bullying. In this workshop, you'll get to meet "Blooey" and experience first hand how name calling and bullying have influenced him. Learn how you can take a stand and make a positive difference.

Location: Room 215 / Target Audience: All

What Kids, Teens and Young Adults Can Do

Be Smart Online and Texting

You can prevent cyberbullying by being careful of what you do:

• Always think about what you post or say. Do not share secrets, photos or anything that might be embarrassing to you or others. What seems funny or innocent at the time could be used against you. You do not have complete control over what others forward or post.
• Set privacy settings on your accounts. Make sure that you are only sharing information with people you know and trust. Pay attention to notices from social networks, because sometimes privacy settings change.

Make Cyberbullying Stop

If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied, know that it does not have to be this way. There things you can do to help you and your friends:

• Talk with someone you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to a family member, friend or another adult that you trust.
• Do not respond to cyberbullying. Sometimes people post or text teasing or name-calling to get a reaction. If someone has posted or sent a message that could be hurtful to others, refuse to pass it along or respond to it.
• Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Record the dates, times and descriptions of instances when cyberbullying has occurred. Save and print screenshots, e-mails, and text messages.
• Block the person who is cyberbullying you. Many websites and phone companies let you block people. Also, cyberbullying may violate the “Terms and Conditions” of these services. Consider contacting the service provider to file a complaint.
• Report the incident to your school. They may be able to help you resolve the cyberbullying or be watchful for face-to-face bullying.
• Ask for help. Sometimes, talking to a counselor or health professional can help you get through the emotional effects of bullying.

(source: http://www.stopbullying.gov)

Hope Forum III - Anti-Bullying Event

District Attorney Adam Levy Addresses the crowd.



On February 3, the District Attorney’s office participated in Hope Forum III, “Bullying Prevention - Crime Prevention”, at Mahopac High School in Putnam County. An annual program put on by the high school, this year’s Hope Forum was part of an anti-bullying campaign launched by Putnam District Attorney Adam Levy in the fall of last year.

District Attorney Levy said, “Since taking office in 2008, I’ve been contacted by countless parents and school administrations who wanted to know what we were doing as a law enforcement community to address the issue of bullying—both in school and online.” Rather than wait for a tragic case of suicide, he reached out to all School Superintendents in Putnam. When Thomas Manko, Superintendent of the Mahopac School District, immediately responded, Hope Forum III became an occasion “to begin a dialogue with students, parents, and local leaders, in an effort to educate the community about the topic of bullying and to be educated by those who have gone through the process.” What was ultimately needed, he said, was a change in culture.

As well as punishing those who prey on their fellow classmates, said District Attorney Levy, it was his hope that beginning the dialogue would reduce the number of people who start their criminal careers by bullying others. According to a recent study by The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center, an estimated 60% of bullies will have a criminal record before the age of 24.

Underscoring his point was a heartfelt speech by 15-year-old Olivia Cowan, a Mahopac High student who continually bullied a female classmate she eventually assaulted. After going to Putnam Family Court and being put on probation, she returned to school only to find herself the object of bullying, and became depressed enough to attempt to end her life. She took the opportunity to apologize to her classmate, also present at Hope Forum III, and cautioned the audience, “Parents, remember: Your children need you.” Her former victim told the audience, “It’s the responsibility of parents to speak to their children about bullying.”

The event drew a crowd of about 200 people, including student, teachers, parents, and concerned citizens. Elected officials also attended the forum, including U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Congresswoman for New York Nan Hayworth and New York State Senator Greg Ball. “It’s up to all of us in our community, including our elected officials, to take a stand against schoolhouse bullies to ensure that our children are provided with a safe and nurturing environment with which to learn,” said District Attorney Levy. Both Congresswoman Hayworth and State Senator Ball acknowledged the devastating and long-lasting psychological effects that repeated bullying can have on our youth and thanked the Mahopac School District and District Attorney Levy for highlighting the topic for the community.

Participating in Q&A with the audience was a panel of twelve experts including Superintendent Manko and other members of the Mahopac School District, representatives from law enforcement and the judiciary, mental health providers, community-based resource providers, and local officials including Deputy County Executive John Tully, County Legislator Anthony DiCarlo, and Susan Spear, Hudson Valley Regional Director for Sen. Gillibrand. Joseph DeMarzo, Executive Director for the Putnam County Mental Health/Youth Bureau, and Kristin Cafiero, Director of The National Council on Alcoholism and Other Drug Dependencies, presented “Bullying 101”, a primer on bullying including types of bullying, websites where it typically takes place, its repercussions, and best practices in response to it. Another presentation, by Val Nierman, Mahopac Central School District Health Coordinator, detailed what the schools in Putnam are doing to prevent and address bullying, including prevention education, a restructured guidance department, diversity and inclusion staff development, and activities by student organization, such as the Gay Straight Alliance.

Following the presentations, audience members seated at tables held “break-out” sessions to discuss their own experiences with bullying and thoughts on what policies and procedures were needed in the schools to deal with it. An energized audience posed questions to the panel about a number of issues, including sending sexually explicit photos over the Internet. District Attorney Levy cautioned recipients of such photos against forwarding them, in order to avoid becoming part of a crime themselves. Val Nierman commented that such photos have caused their subjects to later lose college scholarships.

Other issues discussed by the panel included the status of laws in New York regarding bullying (those 16 and over are tried as adults), the tendency of victims to become blamed for being bullied, and school practices that need to be improved to provide transparency to both students and parents regarding the investigation and punishment of bullying. These topics and more will be addressed in future postings on this blog.

Noting that with his last name he was bullied a lot as a child, Sen. Ball told the audience that when it comes to bullying, “Peer leadership among students is the most important. Factor.” He also discussed a new anti-bullying bill of which he is co-sponsor, along with New York State Senator Steve Saland, which calls for requiring all school employees to reports instances of bullying, and for elevating penalties for hazing.

School officials commented that a move to create new codes of conduct regarding bullying was under way. And regarding the need for peer leadership among students, James Reitz, Putnam County and Family Court Judge, suggested that if students created a seminar on bullying, they could be assured of being heard by all other parties involved in the effort to mitigate bullying.

District Attorney Levy said, “I’m not so naive to believe that we will ever completely eradicate school bullying. However, we can start by educating our community about the laws as they pertain to bullying and the resources available to victims and parents when things go wrong. It’s not easy to change current culture. However, over the last 30 years, we have seen a dramatic change in the way the public views cigarette smoking, drinking and driving and domestic violence matters. We need to begin to change current culture and send a message that bullying is wrong and will not be tolerated, either in school or online. For those who don’t get the message, they will suffer the consequences.”